World Mental Health Day

It’s #worldmentalhealthday and i wanted to do a post talking about the effects of mental health and my mental health journey. The more we talk the less stigma attached to it,  it’s not so much a taboo if we are all just being open about it. And I've noticed the more I've talked about it, the less of the burden. Lets use today as a day to talk about our mental health and encourage those around us to be open about their journey and their mental health. I'm still fighting my mental health and i will continue to do so with no shame, i will embrace my mental health journey.

Since I've started 'The BeautifulxImperfections Journal, I've been open about my mental health - the triumphs and the lows. If you had told me that at 16 years old i would be diagnosed with Depression and Anxiety, i would probably would have reacted the same way i did when i did get diagnosed: thinking it was the end of the world. I’ve spoken about the issues I have faced with regards to my mental health several times on my blog. One of the biggest things I’ve found is that while I’m not ashamed about my mental illness, some people just don't know how to react when you say, you have a mental illness.

Having a mental illness is hard, everyday is a battle. When you’re in a state of mind where you can’t think straight, you have dark thoughts overshadowing those happy thoughts. People around you telling you 'go outside and get some fresh air, you'll feel better' 
Lately I've been feeling empty and i don't really know why. You are not weak because you have a mental illness, nor are you totally mad, crazy or bonkers. It scares me that still today, there are people out there who believe the M word is simply another term for 'lunatic'. 

When I began talking about my issues, or struggles, as I prefer to call them, I was scared. I was petrified that I would lose friends & family or that people would look at me differently. I was worried it would put me in a box that I would never escape from. The 'Oh, she's such an attention seeker!' or 'You don't have anxiety or depression, you're just nervous and miserable.' 

I'm not ashamed of my mental illness, yes i feel like a burden from time to time, and yes i feel like shutting myself away from the world. That's mental health for you it over clouds your thoughts, where you just don't feel like you can function in society. If anything my mental health has somewhat made me stronger, my struggles have made me stronger. Not only does it affect me but also my twin sister and mum - everyone is affected by mental health one way or another.

i wish i had the motivation to get dressed and go for a walk, i wish i had the motivation to go out and socialise but instead I'm hating myself for feeling low. Since i was 16 I've been suffering from anxiety and depression, and I'm still on medication for it to this day. And on & off I've received therapy

Mental illness is a real, physical thing. Even if you can't see it. It affects one of the most important organs in the body and takes hold of a person completely. It can't be walked off. It can't be slept off. It can't be forgotten. The bruises are permanently there, and believe us when we say that they sting. 

But I am not ashamed of my struggles. I write about them because I believe that we can both learn from what I have been through and because they have made me become who I am. My mental illness is part of who i am but it's not something I'm gonna let define the person I've fought to become. Mental health issues are horrible. Mental and emotional abuse can be damaging or more so than physical abuse in some (maybe even most) circumstances - not taking away from any form of abuse in anyway whatsoever.

I suffer from mental health issues and currently take medication for anxiety and depression. I've been struggling with both of these for around 5 years and didn't know until my final year of high school after many years of bullying because of my hearing impairment or at least that was one of the factors. I think this is down to the lack of education with both mental health and hearing loss also the current ignorance surrounding mental health and disabilities all of wish are invisible.

Who knows what normal is? We are all normal in our own way and there is nothing wrong with that. We are all different, all fighting our individual battles. Just because it looks like someone has their life together doesn't mean everything is all sunshine and roses. It can be hard to remain positive all the time. Of course, we are only human, and it's natural to experience a broad range of emotions. Some good and some bad. There's no right or wrongs when it comes to emotions. It's how we react to them that makes us who we are. We are who we are.

When you struggle with your mental health, dealing with your emotions and trying to remain as positive as you can, can be a bit of a challenge.

In the words of Keith Scott (One Tree Hill) It gets better.That pain in your stomach, that pain in your heart, it goes away. That voice in your head that's saying there's no way out, it's wrong. It gets better.  
Stop hurting yourself. You are human. Love & take care of yourself. You are worthy and you are loved. 

"Today you are you; that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is you'er than you."

Don't be ashamed of your mental illness, don't feel ashamed for talking about it. Keep fighting, you are strong, worthy & loved. Be open and talk. You can overcome this! 
it's okay not to be okay. You are important & you are enough. Your mental illness doesn't define you. Progress is progress 

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