Being Hard On Yourself

Sometimes it's really hard for us to just cut ourselves some slack. If you're like me when things get particularly stressful and way too crazy, you put a lot of pressure on yourself and then figure you're the only person to blame if it doesn't always go to plan. It's kind of a nightmare, and the thing is that no matter how well you're doing and how strong you have become, you never really realise the extent of it when looking at yourself. Nobody is harder on you than you.

I think i've come a long way these past few years (being diagnosed with depression & anxiety straight after leaving high school) and just discovering my strengths & weaknesses and you know what? i think we need to take step back and give ourselves praise -   how often we forget to do this, or more often than not can't even see what it is we have to be proud of at all. My self esteem wasn't exactly at its high peak, so when i got help for my anxiety & depression things started to change. I gained confidence in my abilities and in myself. You are more than capable of lifting yourself out of that dark place.

Finding something that makes you happy & confident is key. Particularly in your early twenties, when you're supposed to be 'finding yourself' we're all just trying to be happy, We're all trying to find ourselves in whatever it is and it can be a pretty awesome journey of lessons. I have blogging to thank for giving me that extra bit of confidence, its helped me to be inspired by other blogs, lives and characters.

1) Stop waiting for things you think will make you happy. I spent so many years of my life adopting this mind set of: I will be happy when I do this, when I do that, and it took me so long to realise that those things were never going to be the root of my happiness. Because it took me a while to realise that the only way I'd be truly happy was if I battled my own demons, built up my confidence, and learned to love and appreciate who I am. Since doing that, I've never felt better. I have my moments, and every day is a learning curve, but I can tell you now, honestly, becoming comfortable and proud of who you are is the only way you will find real, lasting happiness.

2) Stop comparing yourself to everybody else. I can't even explain how much I do this. It's the one thing I just can't seem to fully shake off, and I know so many of you will be able to relate with me. Even now, I look at people all the time and think: they're doing so much better than me, they're prettier than me, they're smarter than me, they're more talented than I am, and it's so frustrating. We have to remind ourselves that we are our own person. We're unique, we have our own stories and journeys, and those are not supposed to be identical to everyone else's.

3) Live your life for yourself. Do what you want to do with your own life, otherwise you will one day despise yourself for it. I often think what if i did this or that just so my family will be proud of me for it and it's not exactly healthy living the life you know you don't want. I know I'm probably lucky that I never really had apushy family, i mean i've had the occasional 'why don't you do this or that, it will be better for you' which still annoys me to this day. I was always allowed to make my own choices, my mum always let me do what makes me happy and what i'm passionate about. Seriously, don't live your life for anyone but yourself. It's never worth it, and if these people really love you, then they will be happy that you're happy. Pursue what sets your soul on fire.

4) Look after yourself. Give yourself a break, stop overworking yourself, and recognise when you just need to get in bed with a bar of chocolate, a good rom-com and a cuppa. Sometimes I get so wrapped up in things I need to do that I forget to give myself time to unwind. I'm one of those people that sometimes struggles with unwinding before bed (and getting a good night sleep) my mind is always overplaying something whether it happened years ago or yesterday. They do say the creative minds never sleep, right?  So, make sure you find a balance - something I haven't quite figured out myself yet baring in mind i'm still figuring life out. Also, on a more serious note, taking the steps to battle problems such as anxiety and depression is probably the most significant thing you can do in regards to taking care of yourself - put yourself first.


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